When God Clearly Speaks

It's time for an update...and do I ever have a story to tell...

I love it when God speaks so clearly that even I can't miss it. I tend to be either very indecisive or just downright stubborn so sometimes God giving me a good solid kick is the only way to get me moving and that is what He has done for me in the last two weeks.

Two weeks ago I had no plans. My future was looming before me and, in all honesty, it just looked long and empty and boring and pretty pointless. I was desperate for something - but I didn't know what and I didn't know how to go after what I didn't know I wanted. (Yes, I'll wait while you go back and read that sentence again...okay, ready?)

Last February (2012) I went with a team from my church to spend a week at Foundation For His Ministry in Baja, Mexico. (Check out their website at ffhm.org or their facebook page for more info.) I loved my time there and was interested in going back, but when another opportunity came to return for a week this coming April I decided that this wasn't the trip for me and I said no.

And I was perfectly content with not going...until a couple days before the deadline to sign up.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to go but I chose to ignore it, deciding that I was being emotional and I just don't like being left out of things and I needed to suck it up and move on with life. So I said nothing. The deadline came and went and my feelings grew stronger and I finally said, "Okay, God, if you want me to go on this trip You're going to have to make it super obvious because I am not going to force my way in when we're already beyond the deadline. So if you want me to go, the team leaders are going to have to tell me that they have a spot left and they want me to take it."And I still said nothing...until 3 days later when I got this text message from the team leader: "We have a spot we are trying to fill for Mexico. Want to change your mind?" Funny that you should ask...yes, I actually do...thanks God, I'm a little dense sometimes.

So I found myself planning to spend the last week of April in Baja. And I was THRILLED to say the least. I spent the next 4 days bouncing off the walls with the excitement of a trip back to Mexico. On the fifth day I was...um...moody is a polite way to put it I guess. I was having a conversation with myself about a variety of things and I said in frustration, "Why even come home? I should just stay in Mexico." And then I  froze in the middle of the room. "Wait...I should just...stay...in...Mexico...why not? I have no reason why I can't stay for longer. I'm already paying to get down there and back. It's not going to cost that much more to extend my time there." I sat there for about 15 minutes thinking this through and I knew without a doubt, with complete and utter confidence that this was what I was supposed to do. I would leave for Mexico at the end of April and not return home for 10 weeks.

Now, obviously, there are still a few details to be worked out. My application just went in the mail this morning. And I would very much appreciate and covet your prayers over the next few months. But, Lord willing, I leave in less than 12 weeks for Mexico!

2013

This year will be a good year.

I will choose hope over despair and trust over fear. I will choose to see the emptiness in front of me as a valley of possibility instead of a desert of loneliness. I will choose to love when I feel unloved. I will choose to smile instead of cry. I will choose to hold my tongue when the urge to defend or make excuses for myself arises. I will choose to be silent instead of lashing out in anger. I will choose to walk in obedience to God no matter the cost to myself or my pride. 

I will choose hope...

     I will choose trust...
  
          I will choose love...

               I will choose to make 2013 a good year. 


"Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book - write a good one."