Sugar-Coated Sins

I have a tendency to sugar-coat the sins in my life. Even the word sugar-coat has a nice, happy ring to it. And that's how I tend to think and talk about my sin.

It's not lying - I just don't want to bore people with all the details.

It's not laziness - I'm just really tired today and I was sick last week and I'm still recovering.

It's not gluttony - I just really like food.

It's not hatred or anger or bitterness - our personalities just don't mesh well.

(And this has been the big one lately)
It's not jealousy - I'm just struggling a little with contentment.

God has really been convicting me of my jealous heart lately. (I would say envious heart, but envy is such an ugly word!) It's always been something I've struggled with but kind of brushed aside. Everyone struggles with it. All in all it's pretty harmless if you keep it under control, right? But lately that little struggle has become a much greater fight in my life and God started showing me the reality of what jealousy really is.

Simply put, jealousy is wanting something someone else has and you don't. But here's the reality, God has given me everything I need to accomplish what He wants me to at this point in my life. That fact that I lack something is evidence that God does not intend for me to have it or, at the very least, He doesn't intend for me have it right now. To spend your time dwelling on what you don't have is to diminish God because your thoughts are implying that God is either withholding His best from you or is incapable of giving it to you.

This brought me to another realization. Why is it we want these things? I don't know what it is for you - money, possessions, a new car, a relationship, fill in the blank. We look to these things to satisfy a need we think we have. If a just had that car or a better job or a healthy relationship, than I would be happy and content. We are looking to these things to fill us in a way they were never intended to. There is nothing wrong with any of these things but when we are looking to them for satisfaction instead of to God than it becomes a problem. In fact I can think of a pretty nasty word for it, one of those words we like to avoid...

IDOLATRY

Yes, my jealousy, my lack of contentment, at it's root, is actually idolatry. What a horrifying moment of realization that was. But the good thing is that once I realized it I immediately stopped and now I no longer struggle with those sins...yeah, okay, that was a lie. It is still a daily, constant struggle as I battle those things but now that I have a better idea of what I am fighting I am able to go into battle better equipped. And (to quote a classic 80's cartoon) "Knowing is half the battle!"